Pete(r) Mende-Siedlecki's Journal

Playoff Beard
The streak is alive. Yes, indeed.

Three clarifications regarding the last post. I am not married, nor do I have kids. That was a premature assumption on my part. Also, regarding change, it sure did come. (And America sure seems to have Sam Cooke's back.) Also, in my fun little litany of things that happened in 2007, it looks like I mentioned making some lists. Well, I made even more in 2008. You can read them at www.peterandrobmakelistsofthings.blogspot.com. (Yes, that's right--I am cheating on my old, barely-breathing blog with a sexy young blog. So sue me... it's the 90s.)

I am looking at that little schnerk (my mother's word) in my LiveJournal avatar (a two-word phrase I was very proud to have avoided for 23 years) and I have some thoughts. First of all, I am encouraged to see that the little right-angle recession my hair does on the corners of my forehead dates back to junior year of high school; that isn't a recent development and therefore, I may no longer have reason to think that I am balding. Secondly, what the hell kind of douche-kid doesn't comb his hair (or at least try to ruffle it back) before taking a prom picture. Third, if I shave REALLY meticulously (which I hope not to be doing for a while, seeing as the Vikings won the NFC North and are in the playoffs for the first time since frigging ever), I still look like that. I may even wear that ridiculous silver shirt tonight.

Seven years does less that you'd think, I guess. Or, anyway, at least on the surface. That little uncombed douche-kid looks pretty pleased with himself, and why not. And I still am, on some level. I'm almost positive that I don't have any desire to be him then, and yet, I'm somehow even more sure that he wouldn't want to be me now.

Back to Brooklyn tonight, yet again--Frank and Pat will be pleased. Tom and Adam are going off to do something gay; they're a delight. Caitlin is going to the same party as last year, too. Laksh will be with me, God-willing. That is to say, I'd really, really, really like to see her tonight. Rob and Rachel are together out in MN. Katie and Ray are getting married. So's JJ. Matt seems good, real good. Maybe he and I'll end up at the same grad school. That'd be something. Getting the band back together, and such. (Was there ever really a band, though?)

We need to come up with a good motto for 2009. "Feelin' fine in '09" is pretty trite. "Lay it on the line in '09" isn't bad, but it's slightly desperate. (Not as much as "Dying on the vine in '09", though.)

Searching for a sign in 2009?

Eh, it's a start.

Current Mood: it's still early
Current Music: Skinny Love - Bon Iver

Playing for Next Year
Hahahahahahaha, well, of course.

The address has changed but the story's the same. I'm writing this from my room in the basement of a duplex on W. 47th. Yep, ma, I finally made it. Past school, past football season, past the past, I have made an improbable living here for the past six or so months and I'm really starting to like this whole adult-life-thing.

A quick recap. Woke up in a few closets last New Years, went up north, made some good mistakes, came back, met a few cops, played some pool, wrote show, made Dean's List (?), lost some weight, took some pills, slept a bunch, went for a few runs, got in some fights, stopped calling home, started again, missed a few classes, made enough friends, made some bad mistakes, wrote some letters, stayed up late, finished the show, found some redemption, played some sexy games, lost the sexy games, made a nice fish dinner, handed out flyers, got a job, bought some new sheets, made some lists, and here I am.

As Sam Cooke said, a change is gonna come.

Well. I have to go to Brooklyn, as per usual. Tom will be home soon, Caitlin too. It's nice to have constants in one's life.

In 52 weeks, I'll probably be married with kids or something.

Current Mood: long time comin'
Current Music: Slow Show by the National

The Day the World Ended
Oh, you know. Figured I should. I like this streak. (Funny... take away an R and that sentence reads "I like this steak.") Five years now. "Five Years." Good song. Bowie. Alright. It's been a really nice few, um... days, I guess. I'm in New York City. In my dorm room. Just walked back up from the Museum of Natural History with Caitlin. We're going out for dinner at 8 and then I think I'm heading to Pat's place in Brooklyn. My first New Year's in the city. Hmm. Nice. I suppose I should do some sort of retrospective since the last post. Tom and Shruti got wind of this and seemed to sort of fall in love with the old entries. I was really dead-set on being happy, huh? Well... Katie's with Ray, Paul got Shannon pregnant, Jeff is a star, JJ's in the Navy, Carubba's at Berklee, Chris is balding, y'know... I'm, well, I'm happy. Really. No foolin'. I'll probably write something more worthwhile in 2007. Maybe even tomorrow.

Anyway. There are still many things left to be answered. I'm excited to see how this all plays out. I really like the idea that we just keep living without knowing what's going to happen next. How do you make God laugh? Make a plan.

Great.

Current Mood: natural and historical
Current Music: The Ice of Boston - Dismemberment Plan

Lars is no longer a douche, apparently
I have a plan. It's to update this thing once a year. So far, my last four entries have each been in different calendar years. That's fucking hot. You have no idea. I'm sure I'm one of about seven people in the history of the world to do that. Here are the seven: Horatio Hornblower, Idi Amin, Bartholomew de las Casas, Heinz Kohut, Rip Taylor, Me, and Jesus the Lord the Christ. That sure is fine company. If RoboCop was in there, I'd be allllll set. So as for an update, here's what's up. I'm still alive, mostly. I'm doing alright, I think. That's about it. I have to go finish this thing I was doing, or else this girl from Tennessee will be mad at me, which isn't as bad as this other girl from Mississippi being mad at you. (Although, if you want to get a real kick out of life, get two girls, two, I say, one from Minnesota and the other from Florida, to be mad at you at once. Hi-lar-ious.) So yes. This is all true. I'm bored and I miss everyone. Someone call me. Go Vikes.

Current Mood: out of place
Current Music: All Her Favorite Fruit - Camper van Beethoven

Reds, Vitamin, and Cocaine, eh?
So this is what I did back in high school... Those were good days, man. I wrote all sorts of pretty things about Katie and black man dongs and Hertel Avenue. I even said, "outtie like a boner in sweatpants." Oh my. I used to be so clever. Well. Maybe I'll be back sooner this time.

Current Mood: Fighting the will to sleep
Current Music: People Just Ain't No Good - Nick Cave

Just What I Needed
Never thought I'd see the day... Well. This probably should be an epic post, seeing as it's been over 9 months. Call it maternity leave. Maybe something is being born... I mean, I hate that idea of rebirth and new life and reincarnation, mostly because I don't really get it, but... and so it goes, as Vonnegut would say. Yesterday, specifically it's last 7 hours or so, made me realize just how amazing life really is. The past couple of days saw several courses of emotion coming to a head, and yesterday was the perfect way to ease all the pain. Not that I'm complaining. "Deep in December, it's nice to remember, without a hurt, the heart is hollow." Or so Tom Jones says. Well, sort of... he wrote the lyrics. I love Katie and she should hurry up and not be in England anymore. Jeff should be congratulated immensely for last night. That took courage, but more importantly, it took compassion. Thank you for both. Well... as it is with most things, you don't understand the importance of something until there's less than two months left of it. And when a couple weeks of those two months are taken up by exams, well, its even worse. I have never been closer to the people in my life than I am right now. They aren't even friends anymore, they are brothers, and I love them all dearly. I'm disproving When Harry Met Sally too, practicing platonic love with a pseudo-little sister. And at the end of the day, Katie's always there when I come home, whether its in actuality, on the phone, online, or just in spirit.

I think I'm looking forward to my future more and more now.
Of course, I'm also looking with fondness towards my past, and every single day, there's more of it.
And so it goes.

Runnin' against the wind.

i am so very tired. there has been something in my eye for two days now. i was skating up hertel and a street sweeper kicked up a blast of dust particles into my face and thus my eye has been dripping and crying off and on for quite some time. katie and i saw shakespeare in the park last night. i wasn't sure i'd like the updating of macbeth to modern latin america, and in some ways, i still didn't like it, but i thought it served a purpose for the play, the parallel was very apparent. still, you can't have a latin american dictator named macbeth or duncan or donalbain for chrissakes. bah. my friends are fighting again. i am in the worst of all positions once more. i am two years the younger of the least advanced individual, however, as often is the case, i let my conscience get the best of me and attempt to act as the sage mediator in the conflict and end up a casualty. it's not even my ego. i am thrity five. there's no doubt about it. i am not sixteen years old. i simply cannot be sixteen. i will allow my friends to act in a manner that is child-like, but if they choose to be childish, i cannot help them. they are close, close friends. they mistake happenstance for premeditated murder. they confuse miscommunication with conspiracy. i love them both but they threaten my sanity so very much. katie was wicked yesterday, and i say this as a compliment. she argues so well. she doesn't think so, but she does. perhaps i would have been in better form had i not been bleeding from my eye. meh. she defeated me on all counts last night. every last one. i could prostheletize all i wanted but she had me pinned down, which is not as fun as it sounds. i congratulate her. i love her so very much. i wish to buy the royal tenenbaums. yesterday, i made the purchase of an item i had not purchased in over two years. i secured the parcel and concealed it in my backpack and opened it when i got home. HOCKEY CARDS. it was glorious, the opening of those foil packs. my friends should hurry up and be more like men right now. i miss brian. he is a good boy and wears nice hats. i also wish that i had hordes of admirers like he does. i will wear belts from now on. i know now that the separation of kelly and chris was kelly's doing, but i don't care. i'll blame it on chris and secretly hate him. i shouldn't. we all shouldn't. we can't help it. we are not men. we are not even childlike. we are childish. i am sorry. i should be happy.

Current Mood: head in my hands
Current Music: bacon frying - the celts

yesterday, jeff and i sallied forth (he was sally) to hertel to buy fun things to throw at hobos. it did not work. we realized why only kids from the hertel-north park baseball league go to hertel. BECAUSE IT IS FRIVOLOUS! bah. the card store was not open. i was so very upset. however, we did begin work on the production company. all those who are being considered for roles will soon receive their notices of audition. this includes sirs jeffrey, brian, charlie, myself, miss katiebells, and an assorted cast of other nice-smelling people. jeff came over to my house afterwards and i put his pictures on his livejournal. it was good to see him again. he is a good feller with good taste. then, i went to buy art supplied with katie and make her a mix tape. it was a fun day for all, especially the mice.

Current Mood: hairy, hah!
Current Music: the jean genie - not by david bowie, by my dog

the catcher in my pants
haha i updated twice. hahaha oh god i gotta get laid.

i smell horrible right now, charlie, come back
this is for jeff. in my comment box, he wrote:

"please fill me in- kelly and chris? charlie's party? hatred for sarah? sex getting old? paul and jen?"

so, i decided to tell you all. which means jeff and brian. boo. we need more people in our secret club.

1. i heard a rumor from paul laski saying that kelly and chris had broken up because chris was going to that northwestern theatre camp and was interested in the prospect of seeing other people. kelly i hear was miffed by this but decided to go through with the break-up on grounds that chris's saying something like that was evidence that the relationship was going nowhere. according to popular belief, they will once again be friends upon his return to sunny buffalo, but not sex partners. aww tear.

2. charlie is once again having a party thing. i bought the box a while ago. sorry jeff, we can tell them you bought it if you like. i bought it because you were away and we needed to get it for charlie so he can plan. it has not arrived yet. characters are to be determined.

3. i do not hate sarah. i actually feel rather bad about this, since i was a little rude to her. however, she is the favorite and does get mad props from the p-rents often so she should be kinder to her sister, who i adore like everything.

4. paul laski and jen mis are a sortakinda couple. they went to the movies and he goes to see her at cobti's everyday. they hold hands and hug a lot and kiss each other on the cheeks. ooh young love. yay young love. details on the marriage to follow.

5. there are several more things that need clarifying. jeff and brian and i should go to hertel today. hertel feels left out. elmwood gets all the sex. hertel needs us. lets go to hertel and buy stuff. i need stuff. i have money saved up for the very purpose of buying stuff.

6. i love you... all.

7. read my autobiography. it's great shit.

8. there is a girl i know who runs a small theatre company and desires to produce my series of five plays entitled "five short plays or turtles." she does not realize that i remember her from the past when i severely hated her and she had a crush on me. she is rather fat and hairy. any comments? i suggest we make our own theatre company. now. today.

9. i'm making a cd for katie and breakfast for myself. the baby is for no one.

10. i saw Men in Black II and pissed myself. the fat black man behind us was hilarious. i bet he had a huge cock.

11. the word sex has grown old because katie informs me that i will be used as a preeeeevert if i say it every two seconds in the place of cool, damn, nice boobs, whatever... i have a list of new words to choose from, they are: ice, face, slaps, tricks, monk, job (the biblical pronunciation), jones, sir, spam, soap, plunk, and fishy clown shoes.

12. i work at the zoo now and clean monkey dung off of walls. yeah college experience.

13. come see me. i am bored and in my boxers...

14. where is paul wanecski? i want his hot love in the summertime.

that is all.

don't ever tell anybody anything. if you do, you start missing everybody.

Current Mood: here comes a regular
Current Music: call out your name

hello schoolmarm
two propositions for today in addendum to the last proposition. no more beating on charlie. charlie is hip. charlie is cool. charlie and i are best good buds and together we make one giant black man dong. we knife fight anyone to the death. proposition number two in that we stop beating on me. i am goofy. i am flippant. it is my way. i like it very much so, it suits me like a chicken suit would suit a chicken. i am happy. katie and i would have gotten in trouble, but i fought off the bearded monster with my wit and cunning. i always ask if i can please have some food when i go to katie's. she thinks it is cute. ha ha it is working. oh yeah, we should all not talk like mr. deiotte. this is my new thing. i needed a thing because the word sex got old. now i say face. yeah face. mr. deiotte! don't process any more! it's not working. i knife fight you now. fight! go! i win. easy. anyway, i ordered the murder mystery game. charlie is a sex and his party shall destroy mine handily. he has the added advantage of being a big gay bear, i know. i am a bit upset at sarah. happy, but upset. she is a brat and she knows it. she will hit a low someday and it will be very hard for her. she is, from the outset, an open book, but upon further investigation, appears as quite a conundrum. she is both jealous of and self-assuredly superior to katie. grade wise, she's got the best of katie, by a few percentage points. but in personality, people-skills, kindness, common sense, and general respect for her fellow man and woman, she is a half-wit. it's getting hard to deal with. i want right now to call katie to tell her i love her and that i miss her and that i'm sorry about what happened and is her dad mad at her and would she like me to come over tomorrow and doesn't she think paul and jen are great together and did she hear the rumor about chris and kelly and and and and and i can't because sarah won't get off line. it's alright. it's life and i could be a lot worse off. i saw katie for six hours today and that's just fine. i just love her so much and the day doesn't feel right if i don't cap it by saying sweet dreams to her. i will write now. although i write better on an empty stomach. by the way, to preempt the maelstrom. to anyone i goofed on in the last entry, including myself, don't worry... i'm not making fun of you or indicting you or challenging you to remove your medieval handwares... i'm goofin. i live to goof. so if i do it by writing purple panda bear penis as a comment to you, take it as a compliment. i only goof with those i love. with nikki, i flat out toy. i goof here, i toy there. and with katie, i love. sweet dreams.

Current Mood: a pocket full of mumbles
Current Music: the prologue to the bleecher happy fun times show

common usage problems c... don't touch me
well well balls. i have returned once again to look upon the wasteland that is my girlfriend's sister's room. i have a serious matter to speak of. it is more serious than my visit to a large metropolitan area and the subsequent viewings of many "fucking hilarious" pieces of musical theatre (which i await the reviews of eagerly!). it is more serious than the dismissal of our dearly departed waitress friend. it is more important than vespas, which are, admittedly, quite cool. it is more important than knife fighting. it is more important than serial killers. it is more important than giant black man dongs. it is more important than happiness, although, i am, and always will be, happy. it is more important than my autobiography, of which i have completed two chapters. it is more important than hoes and aaron carter and even more important than g-love. it is more important than the spirit of st. louis and the city of new orleans. it is more important than led zeppelin, bob dylan, or even john cougar mellencamp. however, it is not more important than katie getting her driver's liscence. it is also not important than the movie the sandlot. i love that freaking movie. it makes me wet. finally, it is not as important as the upcoming release of the musical "in search of lost tim," coming to condom shacks everywhere. the important thing is this. on the afternoon of july the 8th, the good, sweet dachsund/labrador mix 13 year-old dog named minnie, was savagely attacked by two juvenline pitbulls. minnie is ok. she suffered lacerations on the neck and side, however, she is in stable condition. we are feeding her lots of dog treats as we speak. pray for the beautiful one. and for katie. who is also beautiful. in other news, i got the zoo job. i am now above seventeen more people in the world. does sarah's shirt say "beat me" on it? no. it does not. from now on, i propose that we all be kinder to each other, not order each other around, and not talk about each other behind each other's backs (as gay and three years old as that sounds), as well aS BEING HONEST. BRUTALLY HONEST IF NEED BE. i love life. you should too. it's a great drug.

don't touch me.

Current Mood: feeling strangely fine
Current Music: the most annoying sound in the world -- sarah "princess"

and now he's a freezy pop
well, I'm happy once again. i wasn't happy for a while when i got cast as featured chorus is carousel and not the singing lead i deserved, but who cares. buh. but i got an 800 on both my us history and bio sat IIs so i am happy once again. i promise to update more often. now that the sore throat is gone. i love life.

the pretzels you're eating have been pissed in... film at eleven
katie and i taped the thing for my gramps today... in sarah's room... that was bizarre. she's got weird stuff in here... like tinkywinky and pretzels and flowers and red boas. i just dropped food down katie's shirt. hahah! i'm taking this girly-girl quiz... bookiasha. charlie and i are best good friends now. fat chicks are funny. katie and i are going to get in shape and be like ewan mcgregor and nicole kidman... and speak in accents... of course then that we're really hot and not just moderatle attractive, the whole no sex thing will be rougher. buh. we're all about that. i'm going to get her one of these gidgeyflompers now so i best be gettin on. sexmonkslaptricks. HAPPY ME!

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: my beautiful girlfriend - who cares, i love her

watch your cervical mucuous jim
there are no clean schools in the entire world. every desk, every toilet, every table, and every wall in my school in covered in some kind of enzymatic goo that is inhibitory to learning. when we find the cure for it, we will tell you all. until then, brush your teeth, hair, and children with a cast iron pan. katie came over yesterday to film the tape for my grandpa. i'd call him dziadi and be really polish, but that is unneccessary, like premarital sex without love. anyway, she forgot we were taping and didn't do her hair and we didn't tape because of that. ah, women. instead, we ate really bad grapes and drank milk and watched the afi 100 most passionate movies on cbs. sadly, my andy richter show was not on. buh, it was fun anyway because of her, regradless of hair maintenance. i saw her yearbook and some pictures from jeff's party. god, we are quite attractive, n'est-ce pas? i know, i know... i sound conceited. but it's hard getting to that point where you're happy, so hard, that when you're there... you don't care what people think, you shout it from mountaintops, and bell towers, and other such places of extreme altitude. i got another inspiration for a screenplay. buh!! i will finish everything this summer, i promise. including in search of lost tim... just have to get ahold of my pianist. well, well. this is what i've learned:

life is good
life is not fair
death isn't always bad
death is less fair than life
art is a good substitute for life
life is never art
art is always life
art can be death
but who would want it that way
death is both art and life
love is life
life isn't always love
death is extreme love
love is art
art should be loved
those who don't put the appropriate time into planning their lives, deaths, loves, and objet d'art...

will live like insects
will die like seconds
will love for the wrong reasons
and will make art for money, for sex, for ugliness, and for a grade

not for a small child in the desert asking you to draw him a sheep

i continue on my course of happiness

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: kamke babble - the liz kamkes

any changes to this syllabus will be announced in class
i think brother peter's jesus circa mech-warrior 3 sculpture in the choral room is great. i hope my god can kick some serious ass. i lost the election to frank tripi. this is a shame, but i am happy nonetheless... because i made the masterminds all-star team and i made the son of evil laugh today. haha... talk about porn and the bible and mr. deiotte will laugh like a frog. tee hee, tee hee, i say. he's so fragile, it's funny and sad and unquestionably true, but all on alternating days of the week. i hope trevor and sarah get together but i know he has a girlfriend. bookiasha. i talked to katie for an hour and a half last night about toronto and college and sex and the church. basically, here's what i got out of it... toronto was fun but the girls chickened out at black market... college will be fun because we're all about that... but i'll have to rent a hotel for katie... rules, i say... um... we won't have sex until we're married as well. good job, i say. i am all so conservative now, and i love it. i don't drink, smoke pot, or fuck for the hell of it... cause it's not my thing. if it's your thing,i say, do what you want... it's not my say and my judgement shouldn't affect you. illegal substances would make me normal. sex without love would destroy beauty. sex with love but with dark thought like babies and sex toy purchases in the back of your head is unneccesary, you'd get that look in your eye like you weren't sure what you were doing or you had something else on your mind or both. i was wrong about fusion sex. it isn't real. life is real. find something real, something happy, something beautiful. the rest is just hollow. "and it will end not with a bang, but with a whimper."

Current Mood: sublime
Current Music: sex - the sex guys

tippencanoe and winston churchill as well
well... jeff's party severely raped my party up the ass. katie is in toronto. charlie and i were going to hijack a car and perform an intercept mission, but the plans fell through. i have violin tonight and i have calculus tomorrow. gay sex, i say. i made a list of things i want to do over the summer. killing tom jones is not on the list. i'm sending im's to random people in the computer lab. this is more fun than flan. i disagree with jeff's estimations of les mis, but i still love the guy. well well. i am confused... BUT HAPPY! should i go for glory and be marius, or go for the challenge and be enjolras. oh wait... now i have ghostlight to think about... carousel blah. and sha... buh... "my fair lady." i hope joe heins does it again. he is a sex. oh man, he's behind me... back to harassing small men.

Current Mood: buh!
Current Music: the fan - whirring

SEX! cheese.
well, i haven't updated for a while, mainly because i wasn't happy for a while and i wanted to keep my string of happy posts. so here i am again, refreshed, rejuvenated, repented, and reconciled. in a word, happy. mr. deiotte and i are back on good terms, they say, my grades are great... save math... and the love of my life and i are getting married tomorrow. one of those isn't true. hahah... its the math one. buh. i have calculus tonight for the first time. yip pee. i am 'cited. so 'cited i'm not eating. i'm going on a calculus fast. i am luke skywalker. deiotte is the empire. kirch is darth vader. critelli is anakin. dave is yoda. charlie is chewie. cartone is han. holmberg is c-3po. trevor is r2d2. libby is leia. i will never join the dark side.

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: the boxer - simon and garfunkel

francophiles need not apply
fuck! my pizza's burning. i wrote a play in church. is that a sin? i didn't swear that much. i did think about katie naked during church. is that a sin? i didn't think too hard. oh yeah... my pizza.

Current Mood: sexy to other bipeds
Current Music: idiot wind - bob dylan

Advertisement